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Love Ecards

Anniversaries Flirting Valentines

Love Ecard with text: Remember, no one can make you fake an orgasm quite like I can.

no one can make you

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Flirting Ecard with text: If I wasnt interested in sleeping with you sometime, why would I send you a cool drawing of a duck? Aforementioned picture of duck.

duck drawing seduction

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Valentines Ecard with text: When I said 'it is a low-brow superficial holiday' what I really meant to say was 'Happy Valentines Day.' I hope we are still on for sex.

miscommunication

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Valentines Ecard with text: 'Happy Valentines Day. I know you feel grateful right now. But I guess I dont really know just how grateful you feel... Note: proofs of gratitude can involve two or more of your better-looking friends and a jar of maple syrup.'

proofs of gratitude

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Anniversaries Ecard with text: I remembered it is our anniversary. I also did my chores so technically I deserve for you to unlock the plastic animals cabinet.

deserving rewards

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Flirting Ecard with text: I would like to get up close and impersonal with you because people say you like it that way and I just want to make you happy.

close and impersonal

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Love Ecard with text: then you advance on me through a blood red mist wielding a spear. I know this fantasy is fraught with peril but I figure that at this point in our relationship you owe me some stuff like this.

fraught with peril

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Flirting Ecard with text: how much alcohol would I be required to buy you so I might clumsily paw at your body without you objecting much?

how much alcohol

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Flirting Ecard with text: So the plan is we become sex addicts, then attempt to cure ourselves via immersion therapy. Unless you have a better plan for the weekend (not scientifically possible).

immersion therapy

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Flirting Ecard with text: How amenable would you be to the idea that we rub our moistened genitals together in a thoroughly recreational/ non-procreative manner?

how amenable are you

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